The Case for Booking a Solo Retreat (Even If It Feels Scary)

The objection most people have

When solo retreat comes up, the most common response is: "I wouldn't know what to do with myself." Or more honestly: "I'm a bit afraid of that much time alone with my own thoughts."

That fear is worth taking seriously. It's also usually a sign that the retreat would be useful.

What solitude actually does

We are rarely alone with ourselves in any meaningful sense. Even when physically alone, we fill the space — with phones, music, podcasts, the ambient noise of daily life. A retreat removes those substitutes.

In the silence that follows, things surface. Clarity about decisions that have been pending. Emotions that haven't had room to be felt. A sense of what you actually want, separate from what you've been performing.

This isn't therapy — though it can complement it. It's just uninterrupted contact with yourself, which most people have very little of.

You won't be entirely alone

A solo retreat doesn't mean booking an isolated cabin with no human contact (though that's an option). It means attending a retreat as a solo traveller — present in a community, but not anchored to another person's needs or preferences.

This distinction matters. Most retreat venues are warm, social environments. You'll share meals, participate in group sessions, and often form unexpected connections. But you move through it on your own terms.

The practical question: what length?

For a first solo retreat, three to five days is the sweet spot. Long enough to settle in and shift gears; short enough that the discomfort of solitude doesn't become overwhelming.

A weekend retreat often isn't quite enough — you spend Friday evening arriving and Sunday morning leaving, which leaves one full day in the middle. A midweek arrival for a five-night stay tends to work better.

One thing to know going in

The first day is usually the hardest. Your nervous system is still running at its ordinary pace; the retreat hasn't landed yet. Most people who give up on solo retreat experiences do so before the second morning. If you can get through day one, something usually opens.